2008/2009

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!

i don't know how you think about 2008...was it a good year, a difficult year? what are your hopes and dreams for 2009? are you looking forward to it or are you anxious?

for me 2008 was one of the best years ever...the theme was friendship, community, new challenges and finally love...
2008 was never boring, one event chasing the next, a rollercoaster of happenings and surprises. but in the middle of all this there was stability and peace, growing out of the great friendships God created...
and the last third of 2008 was just the biggest blessing i have ever received from the Lord! i am so happy and thankful for this growing relationship with flo...i know that i don't deserve this kind of unconditional love he is giving me and i learn so much about God when i look at him! i didn't even dare to hope for anything like this anymore...it is a great gift, and i want to cherish it and handle it with care...
i don't know what 2009 holds for all of us...but i know that we have a good Father in heaven who loves us more than we can think or imagine, that He has great plans for each one of us and that He will fulfill these plans...He knows who we are and what we need, He knows what we wish for and what our hopes and dreams are about, He wants to give us good things and He enjoys to bless us!!

but the biggest blessing is and ever will be:

knowing HIM, loving HIM, serving HIM...

...cause He alone is worthy!

...thanks-giving....

...i know it is a bit early for christmas songs and baking cookies, but december will be quite busy and i work many lateshifts...so flo and me decided spontanously to be very christmasy and -both for the first time- bake together while listening to x-mas carols....and: oh, it was so much fun!!

unbelievable how so ordinary things like making dough can be so amazingly meaningful and precious when you share these moments with someone you are in love with...

probably all those of you who are in a relationship for a longer time will grin now and think: yeah, this will pass by...it will a be "normal" after a while...

i know that...but i so enjoy this special time with this great guy and i am incredibly thankful to God for this season in my life!

diversionary tactic

wow...these past two months have just passed soooo quickly...unbelievable!
i'm sitting here, thinking about what to write while waiting for my yummieh-lasagna to be ready...hmm....actually i should be studying instead of updating this blog, but you know how it is with studying: once you want to start you think of all these important other things that need to be done...like sorting out your wardrobe and stuff like that....arrrgh....i need discipline!!

okay, so on thursday i will finish off with the nursing-management-course i did over the last year...that's when i will have my last exam, the oral one... i'm not really nervous or concerned- since i never had problems before with talking (hahaha) -rather optimistic and excited to finish and get my degree!!
it was an interesting experience to go back to school (even if it was just one week every month). i enjoyed getting to know cool people, but i hated the classes----just like in old times----and that proved my decision right, not to continue with studying, but going back to my job! i guess i'm just more of the hands-on-pracitical-kind-of-person....

what else is going on?
i went to a willow creek congress with 32 people from my church on saturday. it was a congress for cellgroup-leaders. larry crabb was one of the speakers...i love his books and i was impressed by his talk...it really challenged me to get to know the people in my cell-group better, to get beneath superficial conversations about "how it is going" or even bible-study... but to hear the stories of each one, create an atmosphere of trust and openness and allow God to use the group to reveal the lies we believe about ourselves and instead place his truths into our hearts....
i'm so happy and thankful about my church...when i look back and see how much has changed and grown over the last year...PTL!

yeah, and of course the area of my life that I'm mostly occupied with....FLO!
well, what else can i say other than that i'm very happy and in love...sigh...
i think it is true that opposites attract! we are so different in many ways, but somehow these differences complement each other...it is such a tremendous blessing to have him in my life, he is such a great person! :-)))
at the moment he is looking for an appartment to rent somewhere close to where i live...your prayers are much appreciated, cause cheap appartments in heidelberg are hard to find!

that's about it i guess...back to studying!
hope you are all doing well, many blessings!

"...love-lingering glances, fairytale romances..."

that's a line from a song by amy macdonald...
the song kind of fits to what has happened in the last few weeks in my life...

some of you know that i have been into this whole internet-dating-thingie for a while...i met another guy every few weeks and was emailing and phoning with several different ones at a time...
that sounds desperate, but actually it was more of interesting game for me...getting to know people, meeting them...of course you always think: oh, maybe this is the one...but i wasn't taking it too seriously and didn't put my heart into it...

but of course: life is full of surprises and the big new surprise in my life is a person. his name is florian...
he has been in my group of friends since the beginning of the year and we had a special connection from the start...but as i was always getting to know some guy on the internet i wasn't paying much attention to this connection...he was "just" a friend....
but a few weeks ago he asked me for a date and after the second one we realised that this is more than just friendship...
i am really happy and it is just great to see how a small seed of attraction and sympathy starts to grow...

here's a pic of us...actually the only one i have at the moment, so ignore the cigarette, okay? ;-)

and that is a pic of him with his eyes open...;-)

tattoo update

well....the artwork on my leg continued a little after the last pic...
that's how it looked 2 days after the really painful 2-hour-sitting...all red and swollen...

tattoos and stuff...

i got a new tattoo 2 weeks ago...

some of you might think: when is she actually going to grow up?? that's at least what my mum said...and maybe she is right! ;-)

but i don't care...people always ask me stuff like: what if you don't like it anymore in 10 years?

i totally understand that kind of thinking, but i also realize that i am not that kind of a rational person...i like it NOW...i don't know if i will still like it in 10 years...i don't know if i will be even alive by then... ;-)

for me, life is too short and to precious not to do what i want to do...and if i am changing my mind and regret that tattoo...so be it! ( i guess the laser-technology will improve a lot in the next 10 years...;-)...but that's not the point...)

when i became a christian i thought: okay, now i have to take out all my piercings and forget about tattoos and all that superficial stuff in my life...but i never forgot about it...i'm still into it...everytime i see someone with a good tattoo i get excited and so i decided to cover my old tattoos. i got them 15 years ago and of course i don't like them anymore... ;-)

so now, i want to get them tattooed over and enjoy them actually...

here's a pic of my cover-up that i got 2 weeks ago. the pic was taken right after the 1,5 hour session...it is not finished yet...i plan to get pretty much my whole foot tattooed with motives that will match my sparrow...

letting go...

hey everybody out there...

let me tell you something...i am doing GREAT! the funny thing about this is that i don't really understand fully why i am doing great, cause i should be really sad and dissapointed right now...remember the guy i told you about? we are not seeing each other any longer. there were just not enough feelings and other things that didn't work out the way we hoped for...
the first two or three days i felt really crappy...just empty and sad and hurt...but then, very unexpected, i felt at peace, at ease, even happy about the decision to let go...
that made me realise that we sometimes hold on to something that is not the very best God wants to give us. but we hold on to it, because we are afraid to stand there emptyhanded instead.
here's a story a friend sent me this morning...
(by the way: you guys are awesome! thank you so much for your prayers, sms, emails...i am blessed!)

Why is it so hard to let go?

The cheerful girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five. Waiting with her
mother at the checkout stand, she saw them, a circle of glistening
white pearls in a pink foil box. "Oh please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please,
Mommy, please?"

Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box and then looked
back into the pleading blue eyes of her little girl's upturned face.

"A dollar ninety-five. That's almost $2.00. If you really want them, I'll
think of some extra chores for you and in no time you can save enough money
to buy them for yourself. Your birthday's only a week away and you might get
another crisp dollar bill from Grandma."

As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her penny bank and counted out 17
pennies. After dinner, she did more than her share of chores and she went
to the neighbor and asked Mrs. Mc James if she could pick dandelions for ten
cents.

On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar bill and at last she
had enough money to buy the necklace.

Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and grown up. She
wore them everywhere; Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. The only
time she took them off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath.
Mother said if they got wet, they might turn her neck green.

Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night when she was ready for bed, he
would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story. One
night when he finished the story, he asked Jenny, "Do you love me?"

"Oh yes, Daddy. You know that I love you."

"Then give me your pearls."

"Oh, Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess - the white horse from
my collection. The one with the pink tail. Remember, Daddy? The one
you gave me. She's my favorite."
"That's okay, Honey. Daddy loves you. Good night." And he brushed her cheek
with a kiss.

About a week later, after the story time, Jenny's daddy asked again, "Do you
love me?"

"Daddy, you know I love you."

"Then give me your pearls."

"Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my baby doll. The brand new one I
got for my birthday. She is so beautiful and you can have the yellow blanket
that matches her sleeper."

"That's okay. Sleep well. God bless you, little one. Daddy loves you." And
as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss.

A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed
with her legs crossed Indian-style. As he came close, he noticed her chin
was trembling and one silent tear rolled down her cheek.

"What is it, Jenny? What's the matter?" Jenny didn't say anything but
lifted her little hand up to her daddy. And when she opened it, there was
her little pearl necklace. With a little quiver, she finally said, "Here,
Daddy. It's for you."

With tears gathering in his own eyes, Jenny's kind daddy reached out with
one hand to take the dime-store necklace, and with the other hand he reached
into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet case with a strand of genuine
pearls and gave them to Jenny. He had them all the time. He was just waiting
for her to give up the dime-store stuff so he could give her genuine treasure.

So it is with our Heavenly Father. He is waiting for us to give up the cheap
things in our lives so that he can give us beautiful treasure.

Isn't God good? Are you holding onto things which God wants you to let go of?

Are you holding on to harmful or unnecessary partners, relationships, habits
and activities which you have come so attached to that it seems impossible to
let go of? Sometimes it is so hard to see what is in the other hand, but do
believe this one thing...

God will never take away something without giving you something, better to
take its place.

sometimes God might NOT give us something bigger and better instantly...i do not believe that is the way it works...but he gives us peace and joy and a relationship with Himself...and everytime i am feeling low i experience that He is a REAL and LIVING God, who cares, who is there, who loves me and carries me all the way...it's not the gifts that he can give us that should matter...it's just knowing Him!

Blessings! :-)

Happy Holidays...

wow...time flies...it's time for a little update i guess...
i just came back from two short-trips to Berlin and Dublin...

To Berlin i went with three friends very spontanously and i so enjoyed it! Before i left we didn't have much sun in Germany, but the day my holidays started until now the sun hasn't stopped shining and i really needed that after this loooong and cold winter!





To Dublin i went with my Mum....she always wanted to go to Ireland one day, after reading some novels about it...we stayed in a nice little hotel in Temple Bar and enjoyed the business of this crazy city, some Guiness of course, company of old friends, a day-trip to Wicklow and Glendalough and some good SHOPPING! :-)





what else is new? well, hmm... maybe it might be intersting to some of you that i met a cool christian guy in march and we have been getting to know each other over the last few months...so, yes, i'm in a relationship and it is really exciting!
i will keep you posted... *gg*

Miriam times 2

aaaaand...another OM reunion!!
it's been 5 years since these crazy dutch girls and I met in South Africa...a lot has changed in our lives since then, but our friendship remained!
and luckily Herman and Bonny from SA were in Mosbach on a conference the same weekend...so we could celebrate a little mini reunion of our Training Team 2003---
here are some pics of the boschkop survivors! :-)

Happy Valentines with Hosea!

it's valentines day...not such a big thing in germany, but i read something this morning and it feels like a valentines card from God...
i wanna share this with you:

"Then the Lord said to me: Go again, love a woman who is loved by a lover and is comitting adultery, just like the love of the Lord for the children of Israel, who look to other gods and love the raisin cakes of the pagans." Hosea 3,1

No human can comprehend God's love for his children! Our limited experience of human love hinders us from understanding God's unconditional love for us. We can see a picture of this love in the life of Hosea.
Hosea was a righteous man, but God told him to marry a sinful woman. Hosea obeyed and took Gomer as his wife. He cherished and treated her with dignity and respect. Never before had Gomer experienced this kind of love, but she soon grew dissatisfied. She began giving her affections to other men and finally she abandoned Hosea altogether. Other men used her until she had nothing left to give. Then they sold her into slavery. After this God gave Hosea an amazing command: "Go and buy her back." Despite the intense pain that Gomer had inflicted on him, God told Hosea to forgive her and pay any price to bring her back into his home.
God's message is clear: When we reject him and turn our devotion elsewhere, our rejection carries the same pain as an adulterous betrayal. After all God has done for us, it is incomprehensible that we should reject him. It is even harder to fathom that God could love us even after we have rejected, ignored and disobeyed him. Yet God's love is completely different from ours. His love follows us into the depths of our sinfulness until He reclaimed us. His love is undaunted when we run from him, and he continues to pursue us..." (H.Blackaby)

wow, that really touched me this morning...i forget so easily how passionate and strong the love of God is....and it makes me happy! it makes me wanna forget about my personal raisin cakes and come back to him once more...