abundant life!

...soooo much has happened in the last few weeks!

where to start?

three weeks after my trip to thailand i sat in a plane again! this time with my friend Karin and the destination was Dublin! i really don't know how all these cheap airlines pay there bills (actually i don't wanna know!!), but i am glad they do their job!! ;-)

we planned to have a girls weekend off, but of course it turned out to be something totally different....as always when Doulos people meet...random and crazy stuff happens! i love it!! ;-)

anyway, my plans for this weekend were as boring as shopping and sightseeing...but it ended up being a road-trip with Dave and Marco to Belfast visiting Sandi!! We even got to see Andrew, Colin and Jennifer as well!!!

it wasn't just a fun time- even though i laughed so much that my facial muscles hurt!

i was so blessed to see all these great people again and i realized once more that there is such a strong bond of friendship between Douloids... i was just the happiest person i can be -sitting in this car (with Andrew in the trunk!) -being so surprised by God's goodness!

Thank you Dave for arranging all of it! :-)

Coming back to germany in the middle of the night i had to start my managment course in the morning! i am back at school!! for one year i will go to school every month for one week. the result will be something like a mentor for nursing-students and the position of a manager of a unit.

and i really like it! i think i will learn a lot this year and it is fun to be back in school....eben though we are all adults in this class...you fall back into this "school-feeling" ...and behaviour! :-)

i am even thinking of extending the course for another year to get some more qualifications...it's a scary thought, cause this would mean a real "career" ... the result of another year at school would be the leader or manager of all nurses in a hospital or old-age home, something like that, combined with business studies...i think it is called "superior nurse" in english (which sounds ridiculous!!)...

i never ever thought about it before and it would mean sacrificing a lot of time, energy and money (my hospital won't pay for this course, cause obviously every hospital needs just ONE superior nurse)...but it may be worth it!

i need a lot of wisdom with this decision!!

now, the last weekend i went to a retreat with my church...which was also great!

God challenged me to let go of attributes in my personality that i use to protect myself...which i wasn't really aware of...but i realize that i often laugh or make jokes just because people expect me to always be funny and entertaining and sarcastic...and i want to please them and maybe i even think that no one will "see" me, when i am just "normal"...

hm, difficult subject- cause where do i know from which character-trait is my real "me"? and what character-trait is just wearing a mask?

well....that's the stuff that keeps me busy at the moment...i guess that was enough for a quick update... ;-)

some random pics of the last few weeks:

amazing thailand!

i am back!!
i don't know why i was worried so much about this trip to thailand before...it was just great! i mean really great!
my friend eva and me did this group-travelling-thingie, which i don't like in general, but we were lucky to have a fun group of people!
we travelled about 3000km in 2 weeks, spending time in Bangkok, travelling up north to Chang Mei, visiting different national parks, sleeping in the jungle, trekking through the rainforest (by foot and by elephant!), driving around in TukTuks, doing boat-trips, riding bikes through villages, eating tons of yummieh thai-food (and learning how to cook green curry!), getting massages every other day, drinking Mai Tai every evening....finally we went to an island, Ko Chang and crashed at the beach before we had to go back home....
man, how i love travelling!
here are some pictures:

elephant trekking in the jungle

kids playing in the canals of Bangkok

rice fields in central thailand

beach on Ko Chang

handmade crafts in Chang Mei

on a lotus-farm near Bangkok

in a speed-boat on the Kwae River

i am really grateful for an awesome time, stunned by the beautiful nature in thailand!

aaaand i also have another reason to be thankful: my new flatmate Sara moved in while i was away and she is really a great person! it's fun getting to know her better and see that God has really brought the right girl along to share this flat with me! :-)

tomorrow i have to go back to work, but i'm actually looking forward to it...and the best motivation is anyway that i can start saving money now for my next trip.... :-)

32 things about me

i just read jessikas blog and follwed her example...


32 Things You May or May Not Know About Me

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. worked at at supermarket
2. waitress (very short experience cause i didn't do a very good job...)
3. washing dishes on a certain ship for one year...;-)
4. international-night coordinator (whatever that is! ;-))

Four movies I would watch over and over:
1. Harry and Sally
2. Bridget Jones
3. Love actually
4. Lost in translation


Four places I have lived:
1. Heidelberg, Germany
2. Cape Town, South Africa
3. Pretoria, South Africa
4. MV DOULOS

Four TV Shows that I watch:
(not regularly though)
1. Auf und davon (german documentary-soap about german au-pairs and their struggles in other cultures.....very funny!)
2. Popstars (like the IDOL-show in other countries)
3. TV Total (german comedian with a very black humor)
4. Türkisch für Anfänger (daily soap about a turkish-german patchwork family)

Four places I have been:
1. New York, USA
2. Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe
3. Stockholm, Sweden
4. Khartoum, Sudan


Four of my favorite foods:
1. Chinese and Thai-Food
2. all kinds of cakes and sweet stuff
3. fresh german bread with nutella
4. müsli and joghurt with fresh fruits

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. visiting friends around the globe
2. for example: Canada
3. Holland
4. South Africa

Things I am looking forward to in the coming year (2008):
1. Travelling to the US or Australia
2. Finishing my course in leadership (as a unit nurses leader)
3. taking my mum to Ireland
4. having old friends here to visit (that's an open invitation!)

by the way, i'm heading to thailand on saturday for a vacation with a friend...I'm a little nervous due to the political issues in burma and all the horrific stuff about plane crashes and hurricanes in the news....i KNOW that everything is in God's hands and i don't have to worry about a thing...but i'd still appreciate your prayers for us two girls! thanks guys! :-)

LIFE

i often wonder what it means when jesus says that he wants to give us LIFE and LIFE to the fullest (john10,10)...

i really love LIFE....just the miracle that i am, that i breathe, that i see, that i smell, taste, experience new things...the beauty of nature and seasons, the wonder of birth, the gift of friendship and love! it does amaze me often...especially in the last few weeks, since i came back from a dutch wedding of my friend mirjam from SA Training...i thought a lot about friendship and how important and vital my friends are to me! even though i don't see some of them often, due to the fact that a lot of my dearest friends live hundreds, even thousands of miles away--- the moment i see them again, like at the wedding, or talk to them at the phone...i am so blessed and thankful for each one of them! everyone is so unique and different from each other, but each of them touches me in a special way and i can just thank my God for them!
so that's something i realized and i wanna just let you know when you read this: i love you and even though i don't see you very often, you are soooooo important to me! :-)

unfortunately most of my time and energy is not spend with the things and people that i love the most...i feel so drained and tired at the moment!
i love my job, sometimes so much that it hurts, but it is challenging and hard and in the last few weeks i've had not much time off...and the little time i had was spend with other responsibilities and dutys...or crashed on my couch, not able to do anything but sleep...
i don't want to complain, i know each of you knows what i'm talking about: LIFE is not only fun and beauty and bliss...
but sometimes it seems like there is a balance between duties and fun...and sometimes there isn't...

and while i'm writing this and thinking about my LIFE and LIFE in general i wonder again what Jesus means when he says that he wants to give me life to the fullest? my life is full indeed...but i still feel like i am missing out on what he actually wants to give me, cause i am so freaking busy!

do you know what i mean??

what does "normal" actually mean??

You Are 55% Normal

While some of your behavior is quite normal... Other things you do are downright strange You've got a little of your freak going on But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

How Normal Are You?

i know that these little blog things are mostly for fun....but it kind of strikes me when i read something like this....cause i heard that before? or cause that's what i think in my heart? i know you shouldn't compare yourself with other people...but who doesn't do it?? of course i "feel normal" inside...but am i really?? :-)
okay guys, this is a serios question: do you think i am weird??
(if i don't like what you say i will simply delete it from my blog (and memory!)....so, don't hesitate to tell me the truth! ;-)

i am a cappuccino!

You Are a Cappuccino

You're fun, outgoing, and you love to try anything new. However, you tend to have strong opinions on what you like. You are a total girly girly at heart - and prefer your coffee with good conversation. You're the type that seems complex to outsiders, but in reality, you are easy to please

What Kind of Coffee Girl Are You?

the flat-mate issue...

...is solved!

I found a really nice girl, named Sara, who will move in with me in october! Praise God! :-)
it really was a "God-thing"....many people looked at the room (and me) in the last few weeks and i couldn't really see myself living here with any of them. they were all nice, but i just didn't have the peace about saying yes to any of them. two weeks ago i decided to give it a last try and wrote an email to all the churches in my city and let them know that i have a nice room available for a girl...two days later sara called. she came and looked at the room and we chatted naturally and both decided very spontanously to sign the contract right away.
she had exactly 4 days to find a place to stay in heidelberg, cause she had to fly to Taiwan last wednesday already to work there for two months. that is quite a short time to find something, especially as she was also looking for another christian to live with. she called a church in heidelberg if they knew someone that looks for a flatmate. they said no to her, but shortly after that they received my email and contacted her.
she is 24 and a lot like my recent flat-mate ina. i think we will get along very well and i'm really thankful that everything worked out at the end, as it always does... when you trust ther Lord for it! :-)
so, problem solved....thank you to all who were praying with me!

hot hot summer

i LOVE travelling!! even if it is "only" in germany...

i had two weeks of holiday and cause i'm saving up money for a big trip to thailand in october, i visited family and friends in germany...and had the most wonderful time with my cousine and her family in nürnberg (bavaria) and with my friend christiane and her husband in dresden (east-germany)...

here are some pics:

my cousine and her family

christiane and me drinking caipirinha

family pitz

my friend from heidelberg who came with me to dresden

i realized that i really need to get away once in a while...it was so good to see different places and people and do other things than you usually do...i feel refreshed and enriched by these weeks and friendships.... ready to go back to work tomorrow! :-)))

p.s. still looking for a house-mate though...please keep on praying with me!

what's new?

hey there,

i just returned from a retreat for cell-group leaders...
it was so good to go away for a few days with a small group of people and concentrate on other things than everyday stuff, like work and shopping and insurances and cleaning...
we had a great time of sharing, worshipping and praying together. i feel refreshed and got new ideas for our cell-group, a new passion for the people in our group and how to serve them in a better way!
one thing that still sticks in my mind is that we always view the world and the people around us with glasses made of our personality, experiences etc... there is always more than one side of looking at something. every coin has two sides. when i am impatient, that also means that i have a clear focus and i am working towards something.
i also understood that i am not able to meet everybodies needs and expectations around me...and that i don't have to!
and that we have to have a clear vision for our cell-group. otherwise we are going nowhere!

a lot of things are on my heart and mind now and i am excited to see what God will do with all of that....;-)

change of topic:
i am still searching for a new flat-mate!!!
some girls were here already. with two ladies i knew instantly that it wouldn't work and with one girl i am not quite sure yet...
it is such an important decision for me to make, so i have to be careful not to rush into something, for money or safety reasons...which is difficult for me, cause i like to have things over and done with, so i don't have to worry about them any longer...
but the longer i am looking for someone i realise how important it is for me to share this flat with another believer!
please pray with me for God to send just the perfect person! :-)))

hope that all of you are alive and kickin'!!!

“ In quietness and trust shall be your strength!"

Isaiah 30,15

put God first

Actually i am pretty content with my life right now... it is great to see that God doesn't stop stretching you and your faith once you leave the mission-field!
the first year at home was a "piece of cake", which was good, cause i really needed some rest...but in the last few months a lot of stuff happenend and i can really see that God put me back on his work-bench...
i'm learnig so much about being a leader...being a leader at work it is different from being a group-leader in the alpha-course, which is again different from being a cell-group-leader...but i can see that God wants me to grow in this area, take on responsibility and serve people... and i love it! there are a lot of challenges and i discover a new area of weakness every day, which is humbling....but it is also a lot of fun!
nothing new with the "flat-mate-situation"...still looking for a nice girl to move in with me...but i am not stressing about it anymore...i'm sure God will work something out that fits perfectly...i experienced His help so many times that i'm able to relax more and more and simply trust Him...


" PUT GOD FIRST"

"Put Trust in God first. Our Lord never put His trust in any person. Yet He was never suspiciuos, never bitter, and never lost hope for anyone, because He put His trust in God first. He trusted absolutely in what God's grace could do for others. If I put my trust in human beings first, the end result will be despair and hopelessness toward everyone. I will become bitter because I have insisted that people be what no person can ever be - absolutely perfect and right.
Never trust anything in yourself or in anyone else, except the grace of God."

Good stuff, ey?

never pray that....

...you want life to be more exciting!!!
i prayed that the other day and i regret it already....i guess what I think is exciting and God's perspective of it is different from each other!!

the first thing that happenend is that i got an offer from the hospital i work, that they would send me to get a special qualification as a leader...i would be away from work for months to get a special managers training which they would pay for me....sounds like a no-brainer, but of course there are some conditions attached: i would have to make a committment to the hospital for three years after the training, or i would have to pay back the money this course costs....10.000 Euro!! (about 15.000 US Dollar!!!) okaaaayyyy.... i really need to pray about this, cause i want to be open to whatever God wants me to do...I'm having a hard time though to committ to 3 years....waht if God wants to me to to missions again next year?? you see, i really need some wisdom here....got any advice???

the SECOND thing that happend was that Ina, my flat-mate, just told me today that she will move out in september, cause she found a cheaper place to live...we got along really well and i am a little crushed, cause now i have to start searching for someone else to move in here....it is way to expensive to afford it by myself! and it has to "fit" of course.... i would appreciate your prayers guys!!

so, the moral of the story is: never pray for more excitement! ;-)

sunshine in my heart

... i know i should be worried about this april here in germany... normally it is still pretty cold, raining a lot, sometimes even snowing....but now we have had SUN SUN SUN SUN for weeks!! the temperatures are like in the middle of summer...

but hey.... i enjoy it sooooo much! i know i am ignorant, but after the winter i take in every sunray and treasure it so much! i think this is the african side of me.... by the way, i even miss this continent by now....after being in ten african countries i thought i would never have to see it again, enough is enough....but i start missing the easy way of life there, the sun and of course my friends!!

this morning we sat in a nice coffeeplace, enjoying breakfast and this last week was just forgotten....so much stress at work, appointments and other stuff....amazing how a little sunshine and free time with good friends can make you forget and even leave behind these things, isn't it?

the best thing is, there is another sunny day waiting for me tomorrow! :-)

AAAAAAND, did i tell you i am going to thailand in summer?? more sun for alex!!!

wishing you a lot of sunshine in YOUR heart today! :-))))

good times!

i had a few lovely days with my good friend tanya from canada!

the weather turned out to be great and we did the whole "tourist thing", long walks through the "schloßgarten", shopping in mannheim, ice-coffee in speyer, drinking caipirinha (haha) in heidelberg, lunch with my parents (sooo funny to hear them try talking english!), a ride on the ferris-wheel, walking along the rhine...

it was a nice and relaxing time...sad to say good-bye, but i hope to go to visit her in canada next year...we'll see, ey?

to all of you a great time at easter!

...i hate being sick!!

i absolutely hate being sick!
it's not the physical part of it that i hate the most---of course i don't like that as well--- but i just hate being unable to do the things i like to do...instead i have to lie around at home and just wait until i feel better...
maybe it's also the realisation that i'm not much of a deep thinker...i just take life as it comes usually...now that i have much more time- i start thinking about every little detail and that is scary! i really wish i was more of an introvert, cause as an extrovert like me, being all by myself for a longer period of time (like half an hour!) is NO FUN!
the funniest thing is...i'm 31 years old- but when i'm sick i just wanna have my mummy around! guess what: she is not here!! :-((
so, i'm in a totally depressed mood...
but hey, next week is going to be great! my good DOULOS-friend from canada is coming over for a few days to visit...i just have to survive this serious illness!! ;-)

wedding bells!!

I just came back from Andrea's and Arun's wedding!!! What a blast!!

It was a beautiful ceremony, really really God-centered and really really "Andrea-style"... :-)

It was soooo cool to be there and of course to meet some Ex-Douloids again and catch up!! Some got married in the meantime, some have children now....so many stories to tell!
What really amazed me (again) was how GREAT it is to meet up with ships' people! It does not even matter if they were close friends back then...this experience was so rich and intense, it just binds you together in a way that i haven't experienced before...i so enjoyed this weekend, sleeping on the floor in the church, chatting all night, meeting new people and of course seeing Andrea and Arun finally get married!!!

yeah...still sitting here and smiling...
just wanna say to all of you Ex-Doulois out there....i miss you guys!

....finally!!

Your Hair Should Be Orange

Expressive, deep, and one of a kind. You pull off "weird" well - hardly anyone notices.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

now, at last i know!!!

Follow Me

i love sundays...as a nurse i'm not always OFF as most people are....and so i consider the sundays that i do not have to work as very special...and this weekend my flatmate ina is not here either, so it is quiet and i just love the feeling that i'm on my own....just me and God!

the last weeks have been really busy and.... i dunno...kind of "dark"...maybe it's the horrible weather we have here these days...
normally i'm a very extrovert kind of person, but the last few weeks i enjoyed the times alone very much and i didn't go out as much as usual...

okay, and now there's the text that inspires me today...i always like the challenging stuff i guess:

"We can take God's presence for granted. We can assume that because Jesus said He would be with us ALWAYS, He will follow us wherever we go. Jesus does not follow us. We are to follow Him. Jesus said: "You did not choose me, but I chose you" (John 15,16) Following Jesus requires absolut obedience. He does not seek our counsel about which direction we think is suitable. God already knows what is best without ever having to consult with us.
Following Jesus will lead you into experiences you never dreamed of! You will be with Jesus as He weeps over those trapped in sin. You will feel the pain that Jesus feels. You will see those who were spiritually blind experiencing the joy of coming to see God for the first time. You will see lives that were broken made whole. You will see marriages restored; those in bondage released; and those who mourn comforted. At times it will be easy to follow Jesus. At other times you will be tempted to abandon Him. Following Jesus can mean going through a storm or standing on a mountaintop.
He is God, and you are not. Are you willing to follow Jesus anywhere, at any time, under any condition? That is the only way you can follow him."

yesterday i watched the movie "blood diamond" about the civil war in africa, corruption and how people kill each other for money....there's this reporter girl in the movie that wants to fight against all that...sometimes i'm so sad when i see how comfortable i got, being back from the mission field...i know God called me to be here and it is the place where i am supposed to be right now...but when is see how desperate the situation is at other ends of the world, i could cry and i'm about to pack my bags and go and do something about it...

...no worries!

...i am alive and well!
actually i think i haven't posted in a while BECAUSE i am alive and well....too much is going on...i really enjoy work, church, friends....life in general i'd say! :-)

i thought i'd let you know before you start wondering what's going on...
:-)
i hope i have some more meaningful things to tell you next time...but that's all for now!

have a good one!!!

I am rich!!!

hey...this is amazing....you think you are "poor" compared to others...check this out and you get a realistic view of how welathy you truely are!!!

I'm the 295,843,479 richest person on earth! Discover how rich you are! >>

"God says: See, I am doing a new thing!

...now it springs up do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland,
to give drink to my people, my chosen, the people I formed for myself,
that they may proclaim my praise."

Isaiah 43, 19-21

well...i like these verses a lot! maybe because i like "new things"... ;-)
no, i don't mean "stuff"...i like new beginnings and the feeling that something new is about to start...this feeling of expectation, anticipation! awesome! :-)))

so, a new year has started...2007! wow, that almost sounds like science fiction, don't you think? (actually...the other day i stood at the gas-station and while i was putting the gas into my car they showed me some commercials and video-clips on a screen...i was quite stunned at how "futuristic" stuff became in the last few years...anyway...)

I wonder what will happen in 2007! when i read the verses above i feel like a little kid, all excited about what its' father is going to do...
and the adult in me says: what's going to happen in 2007??? nothing! don't be silly...everything's going to stay the same, there's nothing new under the sun!
but i'd rather trust the little kid in me and i want to trust God who promises that HE is going to do something BRAND-NEW for ME!

and what does ossi say to this topic?

"Have you been asking God what he is going to do? He will never tell you. God does not tell you what He is going to do- He reveals to you who He is. Do you believe in a miracle-working God, and will you go out in complete surrender to Him until you are not surprised one iota by anything He does?"


To all of you a great 2007!!